just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
