Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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