I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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