margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
