Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
