gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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