There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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