Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
