um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
