I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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