Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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