11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
