Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
