i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
