I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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