She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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