Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize