the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have fence marks all over my body
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How does it feel to date your dad?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
