my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Alive.
So much puke
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
