I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I love how my cats smell like pot.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
