so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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