If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
