remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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