im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
