Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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