he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
