hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
