We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
