Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
