everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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