I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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