evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
