Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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