why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
