Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
