Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
