Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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