I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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