He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
