I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She announced her abortion via fbk
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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