all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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