Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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