too bad you live with your parents still
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
