just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
