I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
