ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ladies don't puke and tell
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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