The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am midnight drunk by noon
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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