I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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