You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
