Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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