We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize