Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
