Whod you bang
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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