It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize