i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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