there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
