Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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