He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
