I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
