okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
