I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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