brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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