508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
