If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
