so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's rum buckets o'clock
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
