I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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