a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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