Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
