well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
