I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
