I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My balls are so social today.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
