he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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