I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also, beer. Big fan.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
