My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
