I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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